I. Introduction
A. Importance of open communication in relationships
Are you a male in a committed relationship who’s thinking about undergoing a no-scalpel vasectomy? This major life decision will affect not only you, but also your partner and your children. You must establish open communication with your partner whenever you’re facing a
Open communication in your relationship is imperative for several reasons:
Prevents conflict: Is a certain problem or issue weighing heavily on your mind? Has the thought of “getting the snip” (getting a vasectomy) been gnawing at you for days or weeks on end?
If so, keeping your feelings to yourself could lead to conflict or another big-time argument down the track. Establishing open communication with your partner helps avoid conflict because you’re not keeping your partner guessing.
If you’ve been keeping your feelings to yourself, your partner has no idea what’s going on. Perhaps you’ve been fuming and fretting about “getting the snip.” It’s blatantly obvious you’ve been acting this way because of your behaviour at home.
Despite your partner’s best efforts, she can’t make you open up about your feelings. Women know their partner’s antics all too well. If you don’t open up, conflict will become inevitable.
Helps you know your partner better: Failure to communicate openly with your partner could make her misinterpret your behaviour. That doesn’t bode well for your long-term relationship.
Are you keeping your innermost thoughts about getting a no-scalpel vasectomy to yourself? Sharing your sentiments on “getting the snip” will give you an idea of how she feels about the subject.
Perhaps you have two children but you don’t want to have more kids in the future. For all you know, your partner might have the same sentiment. Pour your heart out to her. This decision is about you getting to know her and her getting to know you better as well.
Builds trust: Trust is an essential part of any relationship. If neither party trusts the other, suspicions and inevitably misunderstandings arise.
Establishing open communication with your partner helps build trust between the two of you. For example, your partner tells you one day she’s uncomfortable seeing provocative images on your social media news feed. Now that you know those images make her feel uncomfortable, you oblige. You unfollow and block groups and individuals who provoke suspicion from your partner. Hence, she will trust you more.
Let’s say your partner wants you to “get the snip.”However, the thought of a urologist working on your sperm ducts makes you feel queasy. You don’t like the idea at all. Naturally, you must open up to your partner.
When she finds out you’re uncomfortable getting a vasectomy, the two of you will eventually consider other birth control methods. The fact you opened up to your partner will make her feel she can trust you with other delicate matters.
B. Brief overview of what a no-scalpel vasectomy is
A no-scalpel vasectomy (NSV) is a minimally-invasive birth control method for males who want to stop having children. Alternatively, some single males prefer to forego fatherhood via an NSV procedure.
In a no-scalpel vasectomy, your physician will seal off your vas deferens (sperm ducts) in your scrotal area. As a result, sperm from your testicles will not combine with semen your prostate gland produces. When your doctor confirms your semen has no sperm content or motility (activity) after a semen analysis, you cannot make your partner pregnant anymore.
Your doctor begins the NSV process by anaesthetising your scrotum. This step minimises pain and discomfort while you’re “getting the snip.”
These days, urologists use a no-needle jet spray for anaesthetising no-scalpel vasectomy patients. This innovation utilises high-pressure air instead of a needle to anaesthetise your scrotum.
The effects of the anaesthesia kick in within 10 to 20 seconds after your doctor sprays your scrotal area. Some patients compared this kind of anaesthesia to the pinching sensation of a rubber band.
A no-needle jet spray makes the no-scalpel vasectomy process more appealing in two ways: it makes squeamish patients less fearful and the process less invasive.
Next, your urologist will make a small incision in your scrotum using a no-scalpel skin dissector. He will use a three-finger technique to isolate your sperm ducts and then expose them above your scrotal skin area through the tiny opening.
Your urologist will divide your sperm ducts into the upper (prostatic) and lower (testicular) ends with a coagulating device. He will put fascial tissue between these two ends so they won’t connect and ensure full sterility in three months.
Your physician will return your sperm ducts to their original positions after cutting, cauterising, and sealing them off. He will not stitch the tiny incision. It will heal on its own. Since your doctor didn’t use any stitches during a no-scalpel vasectomy, you won’t feel any itching or irritation in your scrotum.
Males who successfully finish a no-scalpel vasectomy typically rest for a full two days after the procedure. Majority of them resume their normal activities 48 hours after “getting the snip.”
Urologists usually advise their patients to hold off on sexual intercourse for one week after a no-scalpel vasectomy.
Once they receive the go-signal to become intimate with their partners again, they use other forms of birth control (such as latex condoms) since their semen still has sperm content at this time.
Patients can only do away with the other forms of birth control after a semen analysis confirms the absence of sperm content and activity. They are now officially infertile and incapable of siring children.
C. Purpose of the article: to provide guidance on discussing vasectomy with a partner
This article aims to provide guidance on discussing vasectomy with your partner. We will break down the basics of a no-scalpel vasectomy (NSV) so you and your partner can share your sentiments on this minimally-invasive birth control method for men.
This is a decision you and your partner will make regarding your family’s future. You must weigh the pros and cons of having more children in the future.
If you’re satisfied with the number of children you have or you don’t want to have kids, discussing a no-scalpel vasectomy is a good option. Open communication between partners is imperative in making a pivotal decision such as an NSV procedure. The couple must make a final decision after carefully weighing all of the pros and cons.
Regardless of your decision, open communication between partners will bode well for your long-term relationship.
II. Understanding No-Scalpel Vasectomy
A. Explanation of what a vasectomy entails
A vasectomy or male sterilisation is a form of male surgical birth control that aims to make the patient sterile or incapable of siring children.
Doctors consider a vasectomy permanent in nature. While a vasectomy reversal is possible, it’s more expensive and doesn’t enjoy a 100 percent success rate.
Physicians tell their patients about the permanent nature of a vasectomy during their pre-procedural consultation. Single males who are between 25 to 29 years of age are likely to change their minds regarding fatherhood later on in life. If you fall under this age bracket, you must weigh your decision to undergo a vasectomy very carefully.
When you decide to “get the snip,” your semen will reveal no sperm content after several weeks. You are already infertile or incapable of becoming a father at that point.
Sperm are produced by your testicles. Your vas deferens or sperm ducts will act as a passageway for your sperm after they leave your testicles. Sperm will eventually combine with semen (or seminal fluid) that your prostate gland produces. Pregnancy results from a single sperm fertilising the female egg during sexual intercourse.
If you want to continue intimacy with your partner without her getting pregnant, getting a vasectomy is a good option.
Your doctor will seal off each of your sperm ducts during a vasectomy. As a result, your sperm won’t combine with your seminal fluid anymore. It will take several weeks for sperm count and activity to dissipate completely. You must ejaculate approximately 15 to 20 times after your vasectomy for that scenario to happen.
Medical experts believe a vasectomy is one of the most efficient male birth control methods. A study confirmed roughly only one of every 2,000 men who “get the snip” will get his partner pregnant. That corresponds to a success rate of at least 99 percent.
Are you worried getting a vasectomy will take a toll on your sex life? Don’t fret!
A study analysed 90 male subjects in a study published in the 23 June 2017 issue of Central European Journal of Urology. To the astonishment of the male test subjects, their sex lives improved after undergoing a vasectomy. You could enjoy that same satisfaction after “getting the snip.”
Despite the impressive track record of most vasectomies, they aren’t perfect. Vasectomies (especially the traditional or incisional variety) can produce haematoma, testicular pain, sperm granulomas (lumps), or infection. This surgical birth control procedure also doesn’t protect men from sexually-transmitted infections (STIs).
Nevertheless, approximately 29,000 men in Australia undergo vasectomies annually. Most of these patients have fathered children in the past.
B. Benefits and considerations of a no-scalpel vasectomy
Here are the benefits of a no-scalpel vasectomy:
Minimally-invasive: An NSV procedure requires a tiny incision in your scrotal area and a recovery time of just two days for more patients. These factors make a no-scalpel vasectomy a safe, minimally-invasive procedure that will give you peace of mind down the track.
Are you the squeamish type of patient? Your doctor’s no-needle jet spray and no-needle skin dissector will help put you at ease. Some patients were so comfortable, they even took a nap during their no-scalpel vasectomy.
No stitches required: The thought of your doctor stitching your genital area could make you squirm. However, physicians only do that during a traditional or incisional vasectomy.
After your urologist creates a tiny incision in your scrotum using his no-needle skin dissector, he will let the incision heal naturally. The absence of stitches lowers the chances of itching and discomfort during your recovery period.
Fewer side effects: If you and your partner are iffy about possible side effects, a no-scalpel vasectomy won’t give you reasons to worry. A study published in the March 2014 issue of Cochrane Library will put your fears to rest.
“Compared to the traditional incisional technique, the no-scalpel approach to the vas resulted in less bleeding, hematoma, pain during or after the procedure, and infection, as well as a shorter operation time and a more rapid resumption of sexual activity,” the study concluded.
Quick recovery time: Are you and your partner concerned about the length of your recovery time after you “get the snip?’ Don’t fret – male patients who underwent a no-scalpel vasectomy typically resumed their normal daily activities after just 48 hours.
You’re not going to spend at least a week sitting on your couch and bingeing on Netflix, that’s for sure. The NSV procedure’s fast recovery time allows men (especially those with a Type A personality) to report to work as soon as possible.
Fast procedure: Rarely – if ever – do NSV procedures take more than 30 minutes. In fact, some physicians finish their no-scalpel vasectomy procedures in just 10 minutes.
No adverse effects on long-term health: Perhaps you and your partner are concerned “getting the snip” could put your long-term health at risk. You can breathe a sigh of relief because this isn’t true.
A no-scalpel vasectomy (and vasectomies in general) won’t increase your risk of developing prostate cancer. An NSV procedure also won’t increase your chances of developing heart disease.
C. Common misconceptions about vasectomy
We will break down the common misconceptions about vasectomy in this section.
A vasectomy negatively affects your sex life: The phrase “getting the snip” doesn’t mean your sex life will suffer. On the contrary, many men said their sex lives improved tremendously after their vasectomy.
You will still enjoy intimacy with your partner after your no-scalpel vasectomy because the procedure didn’t affect your testosterone levels. Not only that, but an NSV also doesn’t have any detrimental effects on your erection and ejaculation.
Vasectomies are painful: The thought of a doctor anaesthetising and creating a tiny incision on your scrotum can make virile men feel squeamish. Whatever vasectomy (traditional or no-scalpel) you choose, the amount of pain and discomfort are bearable. Many patients say getting jabbed with a needle is the most uncomfortable part of the procedure.
Nowadays, urologists use no-needle jet spray to numb your scrotal region. This instrument makes the NSV procedure even less invasive. Like we said, some patients managed to take a nap while “getting the snip.” Others watched their favourite Netflix movie during the procedure. If they can do it, so can you.
- Vasectomies result in long-term health complications: Some patients fear getting a vasectomy puts them at risk of developing prostate cancer or cardiovascular disease. Studies have debunked those misconceptions once and for all.
- Vasectomies result in sperm buildup: Your testicles will continue producing sperm after you get a vasectomy. However, sperm will not build up inside your testicles. Since your sperm cannot mix with your seminal fluid anymore, your body will simply reabsorb your sperm.
- You can discard other forms of birth control immediately: Some men mistakenly think they can become intimate with their partners without other birth control methods immediately after your vasectomy. Don’t fall into this trap! You can still get your partner pregnant!
Your semen still has sperm content during the eight to 12 weeks prior to your semen analysis. When your physician gives you the go-signal to resume sexual activity one week after your vasectomy, use other forms of birth control such as latex condoms or pills (assuming your partner’s gynaecologist allows her).
You can only discard these birth control methods after your doctor confirms your semen has no sperm content and motility (activity) during your semen analysis. It takes 15 to 20 ejaculations for your semen to show neither of these.
Vasectomies cannot be reversed: Yes, medical experts consider a vasectomy a permanent procedure. However, they can still perform a vasectomy reversal.
Vasectomy reversals are risky considering they’re not 100 percent effective. They’re also more expensive than a vasectomy.
With these in mind, your urologist will explain the permanent nature of a vasectomy during your pre-procedural consultation. You must weigh your newfound insights with your partner carefully and think long-term.
A vasectomy is expensive: Perhaps you and your partner have remained undecided on you “getting the snip” because of financial considerations. Both of you feel you have to break the bank for a vasectomy.
Vasectomies are affordable in Australia. If you are planning to undergo a vasectomy at a medical centre, your out-of-pocket cost after your Medicare refund comes down to around $500.
On the other hand, if you will undergo a vasectomy at a private day hospital, your out-of-pocket cost after your Medicare refund is between $700 to $750.
III. Importance of Partner Communication
A. Acknowledging the role of the partner in decision-making
Unfortunately, some men blatantly disregard their partner’s opinion on important life decisions. Try enrolling your children in a school without her consent, for example. That will lead to arguments and create tension in your relationship.
On the family planning side of things, you suddenly feel you and your partner should stop having children because of financial constraints. However, she feels otherwise.
It could be the other way around – she’s the one pushing you to “get the snip” because your family income can’t keep up anymore.
Whatever your situation is, you must acknowledge your partner’s role in your no-scalpel vasectomy procedure. Teamwork is essential in any relationship. Deciding to proceed with your NSV procedure will entail a consensus from you and your partner.
B. Creating a supportive environment for open discussion
Supportive partners will help create a conducive environment for discussing a no-scalpel vasectomy (NSV). If you have a supportive home environment, you, your partner, and your kids will grow emotionally and remain positive amid numerous challenges.
Not only that, but people who live in a supportive environment also feel valued and accepted. Consequently, their self-esteem and well-being improve.
In contrast, a toxic home environment has repercussions on your mental and emotional well-being. Individuals who live in a toxic home environment are constantly negative and critical. It’s hard to thrive and discuss important issues in that kind of setting.
Here are some tips on how to create a supportive home environment:
Open communication: Practise open communication whenever you and your partner have heart-to-heart talks. When one partner talks, he or she shouldn’t hold anything back – everything about the topic is fair game.
If you feel anxious about a no-scalpel vasectomy, tell your partner why. Perhaps the sight of a no-needle skin dissector scares the living daylights out of you. Maybe you feel “getting the snip” will affect your manhood. Tell your partner whatever’s weighing heavily on your mind. In the same manner, allow your partner to share her sentiments about an NSV procedure.
Active listening: Listening is not just hearing what your partner has to say. It’s all about listening with empathy. If you constantly interrupt your partner in mid-sentence, you’re not actively listening. Interrupting her while she’s talking will make her upset.
Allow your partner to finish talking before you do. If she rattles off several reasons why she’s in favour of a no-scalpel vasectomy, repeat some of her sentiments to show her you actually listened.
Be emotionally present: You cannot have a supportive home environment if one or both partners are emotionally absent. It’s not just about physical presence – your emotional presence is more important.
For instance, you had a long day at the office and you want to cool off with a pint on your couch when you get home. Your partner suddenly wants to discuss your NSV procedure. Tell her to give you an hour or two to regain your bearings before you talk.
Offer practical support: Creating a supportive environment for discussion is a daunting task when one or both partners are overwhelmed.
For example, your partner feels worn out at the end of the day because she’s been running errands and taking care of the kids while you’re at work. Offer to take the children out for ice cream when you get home.
That way, she can recharge her batteries for a few hours. She will be more receptive during your NSV discussion later at night.
C. Addressing fears and concerns about vasectomy
Here are the possible fears and concerns you and partner may have about a vasectomy:
- Is a vasectomy painful?
- Is a vasectomy expensive?
- Is a vasectomy reversible?
- Do we want more children in the future?
- Will I develop long-term health complications after a vasectomy?
- How will a vasectomy affect our sex life?
- How will a vasectomy affect our family life down the track?
Ensure you discuss the vasectomy process with your partner before you “get the snip.” Otherwise, she will feel worried about possible side effects.
In fact, a study published by the United States Agency for International Development revealed “Not surprisingly, women who had not discussed vasectomy with their partner before the operation and had not been exposed to vasectomy information were more likely to be worried than women who had more information.”
Whatever your fears and concerns are, establish a supportive environment at home and discuss these concerns with your partner. Get everything off your chests – both partners must address all of their fears and concerns so you can discuss them accordingly.
Once you’ve discussed all of your apprehensions and decide you will undergo a no-scalpel vasectomy, you and your partner will feel more confident about your decision. It bears repeating: this decision isn’t just about the male partner. It’s about your entire family.
IV. Initiating the Conversation
A. Choosing the right time and setting
Initiating a conversation about a no-scalpel vasectomy with your partner doesn’t have to take place just at home. You can strike up a conversation with her at a restaurant, coffee shop, the park, or inside your car.
Relationship author Sandra Fischer put it best when she wrote, “Picking the right time, and sometimes place, can be the difference between being heard and your words missing the mark.”
This statement holds true for important life decisions such as a no-scalpel vasectomy.
Picking the wrong time and setting to strike up a conversation with your partner is an exercise in futility. You might think your partner will automatically listen to your concerns about “getting the snip” over a romantic dinner.
Unfortunately, she just tuned you out the whole night because something else was weighing heavily on her mind. Your NSV concerns just fell on deaf ears.
First, ask your partner about the issue that has been bothering her. Talk about it and give it another day or two before you broach the possibility of you undergoing a no-scalpel vasectomy. She will give you her full attention by then.
Alternatively, if you’ve been mentally bogged down but your partner wants to talk about a vasectomy, tell her to give you a day or two so you can better establish open communication.
B. Expressing intentions and reasons for considering vasectomy
Let’s now enumerate several intentions and reasons why you and your partner are considering a vasectomy:
- You don’t want more kids in the future.
- Your current financial situation isn’t enough to provide for more children.
- Parenthood has been weighing you and your partner down physically and emotionally.
- You don’t want to pass on a hereditary disease to your future children.
- Your partner might develop health complications if she gets pregnant.
Do you have other reasons for “getting the snip? Write them down. Don’t commit them to memory. You might overlook an important aspect you and your partner must consider.
Bottom line: exhaust all of your reasons and intentions for considering a vasectomy. Establish open communication with your partner at the right place and the right time so both of you will make a sound decision.
C. Encouraging partner participation and input
Talking about a no-scalpel vasectomy with your partner requires her input. If you don’t talk to her about it, she will feel worried and even resent you because you neglected her in this important decision.
Encourage your partner to openly discuss her fears and concerns about a vasectomy. Ask her to hold nothing back. Even if she uses hurtful words to express her sentiments, just let it slide – she will ultimately regain her composure later on.
Ask your partner if you have discussed every possible issue about a vasectomy toward the end of your conversation. That way, you’ve covered all of the bases before you decide to “get the snip.”
V. Providing Information and Education
A. Sharing facts and details about the vasectomy procedure
Before you share facts and details about your vasectomy procedure, you have to gather them first.
Here are some websites that share important facts about a vasectomy:
https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/contraception-vasectomy
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/vasectomy-male-sterilisation/
https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/Surprising-Facts-About-Vasectomies
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/4423-vasectomy
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/vasectomy
https://www.urologyhealth.org/urology-a-z/v/vasectomy
YouTube is also an invaluable resource for learning about the basic facts of a vasectomy. Here are some videos worth watching:
While the internet can provide you with valuable information about a vasectomy, don’t settle for just one resource. Go to your local library and scour the shelves for medical journals and books about male sterilisation.
Try visiting a nearby reputable vasectomy clinic so you can pick the brains of their staff members and doctors. If you have any friends who have “gotten the snip,” reach out to them and ask them about their experience.
Once you gather pertinent information about a vasectomy, it’s time to share it with your partner.
Pick the right time and place to broach the topic. Let’s say you’re having lunch at a local restaurant. Your partner is in a good mood and nobody is within earshot. Seize the moment right away.
Share everything you’ve gathered so far. Don’t explain a vasectomy in technical terms because she might not be able to keep up. Instead, explain male sterilisation in basic terms and how it will help you achieve your family planning goals.
Next, allow her to share her sentiments on you “getting the snip.” Let her exhaust all of her sentiments while you show active listening. Avoid interrupting her while she’s talking.
When you feel she’s done, confirm some of her sentiments so she knows you listened. If she said she’s comfortable with the idea of you getting a vasectomy, repeat it to her so both of you are on the same page. For example, “You said you’re perfectly fine with the idea I get a vasectomy, am I right?”
Now that she’s done sharing her sentiments, it’s your turn. Hold nothing back. It’s her turn to actively listen to you.
If you as a couple cannot reach a consensus on getting a vasectomy at that moment, give it several days so you can process the information and make a sound decision.
B. Explaining the safety and effectiveness of no-scalpel vasectomy
Talking to your partner about a no-scalpel vasectomy doesn’t just entail the basics – you must also talk about its safety and effectiveness.
Browsing various vasectomy websites, watching YouTube videos, researching at the library, interviewing doctors at the local clinic, and talking to your mates who have undergone a vasectomy, will reveal plenty of safety information about an NSV procedure.
Share facts about a no-scalpel vasectomy’s safety with your partner. Tell her straightway it’s a minimally-invasive procedure that has minimal risks and side effects.
If, for some reason, your partner is still iffy about an NSV, lay out other possible birth control alternatives: latex condoms, pills, and even tubal ligation. Weigh the long-term pros and cons of each method.
Give yourself a few days to ponder on your decision. Whether you choose a no-scalpel vasectomy or not, trust that you and your partner’s decision is the best for your family’s future.
C. Addressing common questions and misconceptions
Now that you know the most common questions and misconceptions about a no-scalpel vasectomy, it’s time to address them with your partner.
Once you’ve shared pertinent information with your partner, don’t act surprised if she has concerns and apprehensions about the procedure.
For example, if she’s concerned about possible side effects such as prostate cancer and heart disease, lay out the facts for her. Assure your partner an NSV procedure won’t put your life at risk. Studies have shown a no-scalpel vasectomy won’t result in prostate cancer or heart disease.
You already did your homework prior to your NSV procedure. Put your partner at ease by sharing information about the common questions and misconceptions about a no-scalpel vasectomy. Before long, her doubts will dissipate. She will eventually soften her stance on an NSV procedure should you decide to carry on.
VI. Listening and Addressing Concerns
A. Allowing space for partner to express thoughts and feelings
If you’re in a committed relationship, the decision to undergo a no-scalpel vasectomy isn’t just about you – it’s a mutual decision you and your partner must make. With that in mind, here are the steps you can take so she has enough space to express her thoughts and feelings:
- Allow her to understand her emotions: Let your partner understand her thoughts and feelings about a no-scalpel vasectomy.
Does she love writing down her thoughts? Allow her to do that in a diary or journal. Does she want more insight on a no-scalpel vasectomy? Let her talk to a close girlfriend whose husband has already “gotten the snip.” Doing these things will let your partner understand her sentiments on a no-scalpel vasectomy.
- Breathe: Perhaps your partner has reservations before you begin your emotional discussion about a no-scalpel vasectomy. Tell her to take deep breaths so her mind and body will eventually calm down. Once she’s in a relaxed state, she can express her thoughts and feelings more effectively.
- Ask: Your partner will express her thoughts and feelings more openly about a no-scalpel vasectomy in an appropriate setting.
If your partner notices you’re too fatigued to listen to her, allow her to ask you when is the perfect time to discuss a no-scalpel vasectomy. For your part, you will tell her honestly when you feel like doing so. It could be a few hours after you’ve arrived from work or the weekend. When it comes to expressing each other’s thoughts and feelings, it’s all about picking your spots perfectly.
- Share your emotions openly: Starting your sentences with “I feel” means you are sharing your emotions about a certain topic.
For example, if your partner says “I feel it’s not the right time for you to undergo a no-scalpel vasectomy” she’s sharing her emotions about it. If she feels that way, ask her why. When it’s your turn to speak, share your “I feel” sentiments as well. That way, both of you can weigh the pros and cons of an NSV procedure more effectively.
B. Validating concerns and providing reassurance
Emotional validation plays a big part in discussing a no-scalpel vasectomy with your partner. Psychologists describe this process as accepting and understanding your partner’s emotional experience.
Validating your partner’s emotions helps improve her sense of identity and self-worth. It also helps her manage her emotions better.
Here’s how you can validate your partner’s concerns about a no-scalpel vasectomy:
- Identify and acknowledge her emotions: Let your partner communicate her concerns and feelings about an NSV procedure. If she feels somewhat doubtful about a no-scalpel vasectomy, acknowledge her feelings.
You can say something like, “I understand your doubts about a no-scalpel vasectomy. If there’s anything else you’d like to get off your chest, please tell me.”
- Identify the source of her emotions: Once you’ve acknowledged how she feels about an NSV procedure, try to identify the source of her emotions. If she drops hints such as your long-term health and her wanting to have another baby, acknowledge them during your heart-to-heart conversation.
- Validate her emotions: You should validate your partner’s emotions after you identify them. Consequently, she’s aware you accept her feelings about a specific issue. .
For example, your partner drops hints she’s concerned about your long-term health after you “get the snip.” Tell her something like, “Thank you for telling me that. I understand you’re concerned about me developing possible side effects after I get a vasectomy.”
Avoid statements such as “What’s the big deal?” and “You are too sensitive.” They might spark a full-blown argument.
C. Offering to seek professional advice or counselling if needed
It’s possible you and your partner will reach a stalemate in your no-scalpel vasectomy conversations. Both of you have exhausted your sentiments on the procedure. Sometimes, your conversations could escalate into heated discussions. Even if you try to defuse the situation by taking a few days off, you still couldn’t reach a compromise.
If this applies to you, consider bringing your partner to your pre-procedural counselling session with your chosen urologist. Your physician will explain the basics of a no-scalpel vasectomy procedure, explain the recovery process, and ask you to sign a consent form.
Having a specialist explain the nuances of a no-scalpel vasectomy will enlighten you and your partner. If you have any doubts about the procedure, he will put them to rest.
If your and your partner have any questions or doubts about an NSV procedure, write them down before your meeting. Don’t commit them to memory. Leave no stone unturned. Ask your physician all pertinent questions about “getting the snip.”
Make sure you and your partner reach a consensus before you sign the consent form. Your physician will tell you a no-scalpel vasectomy is essentially a permanent procedure. Although you can still undergo a vasectomy reversal in the future, it’s best if you and your partner make a sound decision after your pre-procedural consultation. Bear in mind a vasectomy reversal is more expensive and has a success rate of only 80 to 90 percent.
VII. Decision-Making Process
A. Collaboratively weighing the pros and cons of a no-scalpel vasectomy
You must weigh the advantages and disadvantages of getting a vasectomy so you and your partner can see the bigger picture.
Here are the pros of getting a no-scalpel vasectomy:
Pros:
- Permanent form of birth control
- Minimally-invasive procedure
- Quick process that typically takes just 20 to 30 minutes
- Fast recovery (regular day-to-day activities typically resume 48 hours after procedure)
- Affordable
- 99 percent effective
- Chances of developing long-term health issues are very slim
- Sexual intimacy will likely improve after procedure
Cons:
- Cannot prevent sexually-transmitted infections (STIs)
- Sterility effects don’t take effect immediately
Although the pros of a no-scalpel vasectomy outweigh the cons, you and your partner might consider other factors depending on your situation. Consider these factors and make an enlightened decision at the appropriate time.
B. Considering alternative contraception methods
A no-scalpel vasectomy is just one birth control method you and your partner should consider. Exploring other alternative contraception methods will give you an idea which is the best for your long-term family planning goals.
With that in mind, here are some factors you and your partner should consider:
- Effectiveness
- Convenience
- Duration of use
- Effect on the woman’s monthly period
- Side effects
- Cost
- Privacy issues
- Protection against sexually-transmitted infections (STIs)
- Resumption of woman’s fertility after she stops taking it
Birth control pills: These pills use a combination of the hormones oestrogen and progestin to prevent ovulation. These hormones also thicken the cervix mucus so sperm cannot enter.
Birth control pills also help reduce menstrual cramps, ovarian cancer risk, acne, and iron-deficiency anaemia.
On the other hand, birth control pills could result in nausea, mood swings, bloating, and irregular menstruation. Women with diabetes and high blood pressure must consult a gynaecologist before taking birth control pills.
Birth control skin patches: These birth control skin patches contain the hormones oestrogen and progestin which help prevent pregnancy. The female partner wears a birth control patch on her shoulder, abdomen, buttock, or upper back for one week. She will wear a new birth control patch for the next three weeks.
When women use birth control patches, they don’t need a reminder to take a birth control pill. Just like birth control pills, these patches also lower the risk of menstrual cramps, iron-deficiency anaemia, and ovarian cancer.
Contraceptive injection: This injection has the hormone depot medroxyprogesterone acetate (DMPA) which is similar to progesterone. It’s commonly known as “Depo” in Australia.
This injection prevents ovulation and thickens the mucus of her uterus. The thicker mucus helps prevent sperm from seeping into the uterus.
Your partner’s physician will give her this contraceptive injection every three months. She doesn’t have to take it as frequently as the birth control pill or birth control patch.
Several side effects of the contraceptive injection include irregular periods, mood swings, headaches, weight gain, acne, and decreased libido.
Condoms: This rubber sheath is one of the most popular forms of male birth control. Not only are they a cheap form of birth control, but they also help prevent sexually-transmitted infections (STIs).
The major downsides of condoms are latex allergies (opt for lambskin versions if this applies to you) and the lack of sensation felt during intercourse.
Diaphragm: When couples use this silicone dome in conjunction with a spermicide, they create a chemical barrier that obstructs the entry of sperm into the cervix.
Although diaphragms are convenient and durable, they may result in vaginal infections, urinary tract yeast, vaginal prolapse, and toxic shock syndrome Some couples also consider them uncomfortable during sexual intercourse.
Birth control sponge: This sponge is a foam disc that’s filled with spermicide your partner inserts into her vagina before sexual intercourse.
The birth control sponge is relatively effective and easy to purchase at your local pharmacy. However, your partner must retain the birth control sponge inside her vagina six hours after sexual intercourse so it achieves its purpose.
Tubal ligation: This is the female version of the sterilisation process. Her doctor will snip and tie her fallopian tubes to prevent pregnancy.
Tubal ligation is highly effective with a 99 percent success rate. However, tubal ligation may cause ectopic pregnancy (the fertilised egg grows outside the uterus). This procedure may also cause haemorrhage and post-tubal ligation syndrome (PTLS). Lastly, a tubal ligation doesn’t protect against sexually-transmitted infections (STIs).
Whatever birth control method you and your partner choose, make sure to listen to each other’s insights and weigh your decision carefully.
C. Respecting each other’s feelings and final decision
Are you and your partner on the same page in your decision to get a no-scalpel vasectomy?
If you are, well and good. Making that decision might have been an excruciating process for both of you – you had to go through several disagreements and arguments to finally reach a consensus. An NSV procedure is one of the best decisions you will ever make in terms of achieving your family planning goals.
Perhaps you and your partner aren’t making any progress in your discussions about a no-scalpel vasectomy. That’s all right. If your partner disagrees with your stance on an NSV procedure, just agree to disagree.
You will not always agree on everything. The most important thing is that both of you respect each other’s feelings. Whatever your final decision is, mutual respect will bode well for your long-term relationship.
VIII. Supporting Each Other Through the Process
A. Discussing roles and responsibilities before and after the procedure
If you and partner agree you will undergo a no-scalpel vasectomy, supporting each other through the process is imperative. Both of you will experience some physical and emotional stress before and after you “get the snip.”
Mutual support will help you get through this experience. Bear in mind it’s a decision you and your partner made for your family’s long-term future. You’re in this together for better or for worse.
Here are the responsibilities you and your partner will assume before a no-scalpel vasectomy:
You:
- Do online research on the basics of a no-scalpel vasectomy (procedure, possible side effects, cost, preferred physician, etc.).
- Ask any of your male friends who underwent a no-scalpel vasectomy about their experience.
- Discuss your findings with your partner.
- Schedule a pre-procedural consultation with your chosen physician.
- Avoid blood thinners, non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) one week before the procedure.
- Avoid alcohol 48 hours before the procedure.
- Purchase a comfortable athletic supporter or jock strap.
- Shave your scrotal region one day before the procedure
- Join an online community or forum that discusses no-scalpel vasectomy experiences.
Your partner:
- Scour the internet for information about a no-scalpel vasectomy.
- Discuss findings about a no-scalpel vasectomy with you.
- Accompany you to the pre-procedural consultation with your doctor.
- Remind you to follow pre-procedure measures regarding medication, alcohol, and shaving
- Ask a nanny or family member to take care of the kids while she accompanies you to the doctor’s clinic
- Offer encouragement in the days leading up to the procedure
Here are the responsibilities you and your partner will assume after the procedure:
You:
- Rest at home for 48 hours after the procedure.
- Apply antibiotic ointment on your gauze and change it twice a day until the blood disappears.
- Apply ice on the affected area for a maximum of 20 minutes every waking hour for the first two days.
- Take paracetamol every five hours during the first 48 hours of your recovery.
- Avoid alcoholic beverages for the first two days of your recovery.
- Wear your athletic supporter or jock strap over your underwear for one week.
- Avoid strenuous activities and exercise for seven days.
- Refrain from sexual intimacy and ejaculation for one week.
- Schedule a semen analysis with your doctor eight weeks after your NSV procedure.
- Use alternative forms of birth control until your semen analysis shows no sperm content and motility (activity).
Your partner:
- Drive you home immediately after the procedure. If she can’t drive, ask a trusted friend to do it for you.
- Encourage you to follow the prescribed interventions (rest, medication, ice, etc.) during your recovery period.
- Do most of the household chores and parenting while you’re recovering.
- Offer encouragement in case any setbacks arise
B. Planning for post-vasectomy recovery and support
Planning for your post-vasectomy recovery and support shouldn’t happen on a whim.
Discuss the necessary requirements and interventions straightaway with your doctor during your pre-procedural consultation. Once your physician finalises these requirements, assign responsibilities to each partner as soon as you get home.
Write a checklist and tick off each item after it’s completed. Your post-vasectomy recovery requires careful planning. You and your partner must work as a team to make your recovery as smooth as possible.
C. Maintaining open communication for any further concerns or adjustments
Sometimes, the unexpected happens just when you least expect it. A no-scalpel vasectomy experience is no exception.
For example, you may feel some discomfort in your scrotal area despite taking the prescribed amount of paracetamol. In all likelihood, your physician will recommend you take a stronger painkiller such as ibuprofen.
If you feel anything unusual before or after your procedure, tell your partner right away. She will help you communicate your concerns with your urologist.
Perhaps you’re uncomfortable using latex condoms for sexual intercourse before your semen analysis. Tell your partner about your concern. Try to reach a consensus on the birth control method that you’re both comfortable with.
Whatever your no-scalpel vasectomy-related concerns are, tell them to your partner. Don’t hide anything from her. Transparency is vital in this important life decision.
IX. Conclusion
A. Recap of the importance of open communication in discussing vasectomy
Choosing a no-scalpel vasectomy (NSV) for your family planning goals is one of the most important decisions you and your partner will make.
Open communication between you and your partner is essential. For one, it helps prevent conflict because you don’t keep each other guessing and frustrate each other in the process.
When you and your partner communicate openly, you also get to know each other better. You will know each other’s stance on a sensitive topic such as a no-scalpel vasectomy.
Open communication also builds trust because neither of you are keeping secrets behind each other’s backs.
Weighing the pros and cons of a no-scalpel vasectomy requires the sentiments of both partners. One partner could offer insights the other may have overlooked.
Discussing this birth control method also entails transparency, active listening, and emotional presence – you will get to know your partner in ways you’ve never imagined. Choosing the right setting and timing will make your discussions about an NSV procedure productive.
If you and your partner decide to pursue a no-scalpel vasectomy, you must also practise open communication before and after the procedure. Each partner has roles to fulfil so that your NSV experience goes smoothly.
You will work as a team from start to finish. We’re confident your no-scalpel vasectomy experience will help you achieve your family planning goals and improve your relationship with your partner.
B. Encouragement to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding
Open communication, active listening, transparency, and emotional presence are some of the important factors in talking about a no–scalpel vasectomy with your partner. Practising empathy and understanding will make the NSV experience even more successful.
Greater Good Magazine defines empathy as “the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling.”
In other words, empathy means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.
How can you practise empathy during your no-scalpel vasectomy discussions? Imagine yourself going through what your partner is going through.
For example, if your partner is at risk of developing long-term health issues if she gets pregnant, you “getting the snip” seems a likely possibility. You feel sympathetic toward her situation because you also don’t want to develop a serious illness down the track.
In the same manner, your partner must also reciprocate. Although she won’t experience a vasectomy, she can empathise with your impending sterility. She knows you feel some discomfort and your lifestyle will drastically change for one week after the procedure.
With that in mind, your partner will do everything she could to make your recovery successful. Understanding each other’s physical and emotional state will bode well for your no-scalpel vasectomy.
C. Final thoughts on strengthening the relationship through shared decision-making
Talking about a no-scalpel vasectomy with your partner entails joint decision-making. When you make decisions as a couple, you are working as a team. As a result, you get to know each other better and put the other person’s needs above yours. You will consequently strengthen your long-term relationship.
Choosing a no-scalpel vasectomy isn’t just about you – it’s also about your partner and your family’s long-term future.
X. Additional Resources
A. List of reputable websites and resources for further information on vasectomy
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/relations/the-importance-of-communication-in-a-relationship/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8255399/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15821547/
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/are-vasectomies-reversible
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0015028205027123
https://www.yua.com/most-common-vasectomy-misconceptions/
https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/vasectomy/conditioninfo/sex-life
https://www.vasectomy.org.au/cost/
https://fullcircletherapyllc.com/blog/f/creating-a-supportive-environment-with-family-and-friends
https://pdf.usaid.gov/pdf_docs/pnacq010.pdf
https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/contraception-vasectomy
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/4423-vasectomy
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/vasectomy
https://www.urologyhealth.org/urology-a-z/v/vasectomy
https://www.cochrane.org/CD004112/FERTILREG_scalpel-or-no-scalpel-approach-vas
https://emedicine.medscape.com/article/148512-overview?form=fpf
https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-express-emotions-in-relationships#tips-to-express-emotions
https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-express-emotions-in-relationships#tips-to-express-emotions
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-emotional-validation-425336
https://nourishwithbella.com/blog/non-hormonal-forms-of-birth-control
https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/contraceptive-injection
https://spermcheck.com/vasectomy/blog/vasectomy-checklist/
https://buenafeclinic.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Vasectomy-Manual-Buenafe-070618.pdf
B. Links to support groups or forums for couples considering vasectomy
Here are some support groups and forums for couples who are considering a vasectomy. You will gain additional insight and support from other people who have undergone a vasectomy or are going through the process:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1362272350523022/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/310494904691
https://community.whattoexpect.com/forums/australian-parents/topic/vasectomy-baby.html
https://www.dad.info/forum/mens-health/vasectomy-stories/
C. Contact information for healthcare professionals or counsellors specialising in vasectomy counselling
If you and your partner want to learn more about a no-scalpel vasectomy procedure, you can reach out to the following professionals in Australia:
MSI Australia National Contact Centre
Website: https://www.msiaustralia.org.au/make-a-booking/#counselling
Telephone number: 1300 003 707
The Women’s Health Centre
Website: https://thewomenshealthcentre.com.au/contact
Telephone number: 02 4880 1686 / 02 4880 1685
Melbourne Vasectomy Doctors
Website: https://melbournevasectomydoctors.com.au/
Telephone number: 03 8488 6698
XI. About the Author (Optional)
A. Brief bio of the author, if applicable
B. Contact information for readers to reach out with questions or feedback
If you have any questions or feedback about your no-scalpel vasectomy procedure, you can call us at 1300 677 647. Alternatively, you can send us an email at reception@scalpelfreevasectomy.com.au. One of our team members will get back to you as soon as possible.
IX. About the Author
Dr.Raj Selvarajan MBBS MRCS(Ed) MRCGP(UK) FRACGP MMed(UQ)
Scalpel Free Vasectomist,
Course Organiser – Advanced Workshop in No Scalpel Vasectomy (HealthCert)
Website: Vasectomy Brisbane